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The Ratcatcher (from Re: Dracula)

by Re: Dracula

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about

The sea shanty featured at the end of the august 4 Re: Dracula episode.

lyrics

THE RATCATCHER
By Ester Ellis, 2023
_______________________
1st

Here’s a trick to catch a rat
Go ashore and find a cat
Starve the cat for 15 days
Let it loose and watch it play
Oh ho!
There it goes
Cook it up with salt and cloves
_______________________
2nd

Here’s a trick to catch a cat
Drive a nail into a bat
Lure it out with stick and string
Lose the bat and hear it sing
Oh ho!
There it goes
Cook it up with salt and cloves
_______________________
3rd verse

Here’s a trick to catch a flea
Stick a needle in your knee
Bleed until the watchman comes
Crush the flea beneath your thumb
Oh ho!
There it goes
Cook it up with salt and cloves
_______________________
4th

Here’s a trick to catch a shark
Throw the dog and let it bark
Fill the sea with wood and oil
Strike the light and let it boil
Oh ho!
There it goes
Cook it up with salt and cloves
_______________________
5th

Here’s a trick to catch a whale
Thread a needle through its tail
Poke it full of wounds and holes
Sing a song and watch it blow
Oh ho!
There it goes
Cook it up with salt and cloves
_______________________
6th

Here’s a trick to catch a gull
Stuff a pasty til its full
Let it feast upon the dough
Cut its wings and hear it crow
Oh ho!
There it goes
Cook it up with salt and cloves
_______________________
7th Petrofsky

Here’s a trick to catch a bat
Take the mate and knock him flat
Tie him up with iron links
Roll him out and let it drink
Oh ho!
There it goes
Cook it up with salt and cloves
_______________________
8th - Nameless Hand

Here’s a trick to catch a crew
Paste the call up with some glue
Get them drunk on wine and rum
Sail away til morning comes
Oh ho!
There it goes
Cook it up with salt and cloves
_______________________
9th -Second Mate

Here’s a trick to catch a Priest
Bring a virgin to a feast
Steal his clothing from the bed
Slap his back and shave his head
Oh ho!
There it goes
Cook it up with salt and cloves
_______________________
10th - Steersman

Here’s a trick to catch a swab
Give his father to a mob
Wait until he’s nice and flat
Pull him out and make a hat
Oh ho!
There it goes
Cook it up with salt and cloves
_______________________
11th - Watchman

Here’s a trick to catch the watch
Fill his tankard full of scotch
Show the captain hear him cry
Cut the rope and let him fly
Oh ho!
There it goes
Cook it up with salt and cloves
_______________________
12th - Russian Mate

Here’s a trick to catch a wife
Rob her mother of her life
Hide until the crack of dawn
Now we sing the wedding song
Oh ho!
There it goes
Cook it up with salt and cloves
_______________________
13th - First Mate

Here’s a trick to catch a mate
Put some poison on his plate
As he chokes ignore his plea
Now there’s more for you and me
Oh ho!
There it goes
Cook it up with salt and cloves
_______________________
14th - Dracula

Here’s a trick to catch a lift
Drink the crew up bit by bit
Watch the captain’s final stand
Run away when ship makes land
Oh ho!
There it goes
Cook it up with salt and cloves

credits

released August 4, 2023
“The Ratcatcher” was written by Ester Ellis and performed by Stephen Indrisano, Josh Rubino, Brad Colbroock, Newt Schottelkotte, and Sivan Raz. Mixing and mastering by Tal Minear and Brad Colbroock.

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Sidequesting Long Beach, California

Sidequesting is a fantasy podcast about avoiding the main plot.

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